The Forms of Domestic Violence

What is violence?

“Domestic violence encompasses psychological, verbal, physical and sexual abuse as well as economic domination. It is not the result of a loss of control, but rather a means chosen to dominate the other person and assert power over them. It can be experienced in a marital, extramarital or romantic relationship, at any stage of life.”

( Ref :Cour du Québec (1995), Politique d’intervention en matière de violence conjugale.)

Domestic violence does not occur suddenly in a romantic relationship. It develops gradually and sometimes subtly.

In a relationship where domestic violence is occuring, the egalitarian relationship is broken. The abuser seizes power at the expense of his partner. Claiming to be jealous, or for any other reason, he demeans her, threatens her, explicitly or indirectly forbids her to engage in certain activities or to see people she values. He will often isolate the victim.

Verbal abuse

Verbal abuse can take the form of:

• Raising your voice in a bid to intimidate a spouse
• Uttering threats in a low voice
• Insults or name-calling
• Blackmailing
• Giving orders

In this way, a violent man will make the spouse feel tense, which helps keep her in a state of fear and insecurity. To avoid making things worse, she obeys and submits to the spouse’s commands.

Psychological abuse

Psychological abuse is a series of contemptuous and humiliating attitudes or words:

• Demeaning a woman’s intellectual capacities or appearance
  
• Criticizing her way of raising the children or her cooking
• Making negative comments in public
• Commenting on or criticizing her sexual performance
• Telling her she is incompetent, useless
• Completely ignoring her for days on end

Psychological abuse is a subtle form of violence and can be hard to detect. It often starts with seemingly innocuous comments. The more the abuse is repeated, the more the woman wonders if she is right to doubt her spouse’s attitude. She believes he is right; her self-esteem decreases and she feels increasingly powerless.

Physical abuse

In a relationship with domestic violence, physical abuse is often used when shouting, sarcasm or threats no longer work. Physical abuse occurs when there is a physical manifestation of violence, although not necessarily physical contact between the two parties:

• Throwing objects at or near her
• Blocking her way, pushing her
• Grabbing her arms, hitting her
• Punching, kicking
• Trying to strangle her
• Spitting in her face

Other forms of violence are usually also involved at this point.

Sexual abuse

Women find it harder to talk about sexual abuse, as sexuality refers to a couple’s intimacy. Sexual abuse can be expressed as:

• Insulting the woman during sex, calling her a whore, a slut
• Humiliating or intimidating her by comparing her body to that of other women
  
• Forcing her to wear clothing or accessories associated with pornography
  
• Forcing her to watch pornography and imitate porno movies
  
• Hitting or biting her during sex
  
• Forcing her to have sex out of fear of reprisals or to keep the peace.
  

Economi cabuse

Economic abuse is all about control of money, for example:

• Forcing the woman to support him or going into debt for him
• Forbidding her from buying certain essential items (which she will then buy in secret or feel obliged to justify)
• Berating her for purchases that have been made
• Forcing her to drop her studies or forbidding her from working
• Forcing her to steal or commit fraud

This form of abuse diminishes the woman’s autonomy. The fear of being without resources can keep her from leaving the relationship.