I want to help

Assistance scenario for the victim’s family and close friends

Encourage the victim to take steps to extricate herself from the situation. To help someone who is living with domestic violence:

Encourage her to discuss safety and protection measures with a counsellor at the shelter.
Listen to her and trust her intuition and judgement; she best positioned to assess which safety precautions will work for her and her children.

Does her spouse have violent tendencies?

Some signs that a partner may be behaving violently:

The behaviour can be frequent or occasional, but in all cases, it is domestic violence and is unacceptable.

If her spouse engages in one or more of these behaviours, if you have doubts or questions, contact us!

Psychological violence

He forbids her from seeing certain people;
He gives her orders;
He uses her weaknesses to hurt her;
He uses the silent treatment to get what he wants;
He calls her names;
He blames her for all of his problems;
He accuses her of provoking him;
He tries to justify his behaviour by making her feel sorry for him;
He is in charge of everything in the home;
He is jealous and possessive;
He sometimes uses the children to threaten her;
He breaks objects in front of her;
He punches walls or hits furniture in front of her;
He monitors her comings and goings;
He often demeans her by criticizing her appearance and body.

Physical violence

He has shoved or pushed her;
He has held her against a wall;
He has thrown things at her;
He has forcibly kept her in the house;
He has hit her;
He has gripped her arms;
He has tried to strangle her;
He has hit one of his children.

Sexual violence

He sometimes ignores her refusal to have sex and forces her;
He gets even or harasses her when she refuses to have sex;
He pressures her to watch pornographic movies or engage in sexual behaviour that she doesn’t enjoy.

Economic violence

He controls all the expenses;
He forbids her from making certain personal expenditures;
He contributes as little money as possible to the household.

How to Help a Victim of Violence

The most important thing you can do to help a woman living with domestic violence is listen to her. There are times, however, when it will be important to do more than that. Here are some ways you can help:

Find a shelter near you for her and her children;
Listen and believe without judgement;
Follow her pace;
Help her find a lawyer;
Offer to accompany her to meet a shelter counsellor.